:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just blew my weed a kiss
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm always down for nudity.
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