if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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