All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
