Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There r osticjed everywhere
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
