I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
