Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
