The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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