What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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