She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
