Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Who died my cat blue again?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
