some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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