he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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