u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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