I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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