Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
