I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
