I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
