You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
