Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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