Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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