two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
