Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Everclear isn't food dammit
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
