How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
