i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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