One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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