need another drink. this is the easiest way
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
