My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
