Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize