Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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