Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
