I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
