The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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