I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
