I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
