I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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