It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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