Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just found a bag of teeth...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
