Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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