She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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