Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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