So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I enjoy the company of your penis
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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