I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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