he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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