I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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