I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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