I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
