He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
