She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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