he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
