i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
