i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
