I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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