Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
