I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
