your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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