38 yer olds are good kisserssss
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the raccoons are back...
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