Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
