I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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