dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
