Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
