i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your penis caused this!
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